Endorsements

Mom's Guide to Dads

10 Secrets Your Husband Wont Tell You

Endorsements

"It's about time that someone wrote about Daddying! Too many women, and some men, don't seem to appreciate what is special about Daddy to children ... and to the Mommy. Men are often side-lined and made to feel incompetent instead of embraced for the special qualities men bring to parenting. This is a must-read for everyone with kids.!" -Dr. Laura Schlessinger, author of The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage (HarperCollins, 2007)
(www.drlaura.com)

"A practical, no-nonsense guide for couples who want to improve communication and strengthen their relationship while raising children together. This unique book gives mothers an honest view of what fathers feel, but are often too afraid to say. A must-read for parents of all ages and professionals working with families." - Dr. Linda Nielsen, author of Embracing Your Father: How to Build the Relationship You've Always Wanted with Your Dad (McGraw-Hill, 2004) (www.wfu.edu/~nielsen/)

"Hogan Hilling is the rare man who can write, speak, teach, entertain - and still make time to connect with his kids. The Modern Mom's Guide to Dads is his latest, and perhaps most valuable, contribution to creating healthy families." -Neil Chethik, author of Voice Male: What Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages (Simon & Schuster, 2006) (www.neilchethik.com)

"I opened up the book and could not stop reading it....Hogan has opened up the Pandora's box to guys' thinking about parenting. In a word, Hallelujah! Balanced by his co-author, Jesse Jayne Rutherford, who offers the female perspective in each of the ten chapters, the book handles many topics such as how society shapes a man's self-understanding and what kinds of pressure they're really under. They work more once baby arrives on the scene not because they're trying to get away from us, but because they're trying to provide for us. It's an eye-opening book in many ways. New dads struggle with guilt, negative self-talk and confusion as much as women do. We're just more vocal about it and it seems socially appropriate for women to talk about their struggles. How many talk shows have female moderators? Very few, other than perhaps Dr. Phil, really get at the heart of people. Most men have not learned how to express themselves around these issues. For the first time, there's hope. Hogan Hilling, founder of Proud Dads, Inc., has provided an outlet for them to reveal what they're truly thinking in a safe, nonjudgmental environment. A truly wonderful book full of surprises that will make you be kinder to your husband and see things his way ...for once!" -Christine Louise Hohlbaum, Diary of a Mother (www.diaryofamother.com)

"The Modern Mom’s Guide to Dads is an excellent resource tool for all parenting and childbirth educators. Reading this book will help the educator become more 'tuned-in' to the fathers in her classes. I also think that every pregnant couple could benefit from reading this guide..... It should be on every childbirth education book list as a 'must read!'”
-Sue Cooter,RN, CD, CCD, of Prepared Childbirth Educators, Inc.
www.childbirtheducation.org

"I found this book really interesting…as soon as I got it back from my husband. It gives you a look into the male mind when it comes to being a parent and what they think about the whole situation. Like the book says, it’s a must read for all parents of all ages. I may hand it over to my sister when I’ve become detached from it. She could probably use it."
-A Mom (thesocalledme.net/)

“I read your book, and very much enjoyed it. The book, although ostensibly written for women, would certainly open a lot of men's eyes and get them thinking, probably for the first time, about these issues. The tone is also remarkably patient, non-judgmental, and gentle -- much more so than I could ever manage.”
-Stephen, a dad.

"If you are a mom who wants a happy marriage, well-raised children, and an energetic self, the The Modern Mom's Guide to Dads will do more to help you create all three than any book. After starting hundreds of men and women's groups, and working with couples and dads all my life, this is the first book that articulates accurately what dads feel but don't say." -Warren Farrell, Ph.D., author of Father and Child Reunion: Why Men Are the Way they Are and Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (www.warrenfarrell.com) (McGraw-Hill, 1996)

"I just finished reading a terrific book called The Modern Mom's Guide to Dads. The book provides a window into the minds of fathers, and what they really think - but are too afraid to voice aloud. In it, the author, Hogan Hilling, provides ten secrets a husband won't tell his wife. I personally think it is brilliant, not only because it is honest and insightful - but because it was high time that a book was written to help us moms understand things from a dad's point of view....As moms today, we blog (as I do!), we get together for coffee, we vent with our friends - and there are a million books out there to support moms through their journey through parenthood. But there isn't a whole lot out there to support dads or examine how dads feel about parenthood. And yes, I am the first to admit the reason is proabably because women are still the primary care-givers, but that shouldn't deminish a dad's huge contribution and integral role in the family. Hmm - it's almost exactly what I have been doing for the past few years - except from a dad's point of view!" -From www.thestayathomemother.com

"Often as mothers we often wonder why our husband’s don’t take as much interest in our children as we do. We don’t understand how husband’s really feel as a Dad. There is a book called The Modern Mom’s Guide to Dad: Ten Secrets Your Husbands Won’t Tell You that attempts to help Moms ease their minds and reveals a little more into what Husbands are feeling when they become Fathers. Men are often very protective over their feelings. More than likely you have had the conversation with your husband of why he won’t help out more with the children or with household chores. This book helps to explain what your husband’s fears and hopes are as well as how to get him more involved in family activities. Not only does this book help in areas concerning the children but it also helps areas of your marriage that have been drastically changed due to having little ones. Really I do not want to say a whole lot more because I do not want to give the book away but really it is a good read and a must for all parents!" -Domestic Diva www.thedomesticdiva.org/blog/

"As a psychotherapist who works with couples, I know what "baby shock" is, and the difficulties even good marriages have when the first baby arrives. Hogan's book is the perfect solution. It's a readable, down-to earth guide for both moms and dads that covers, frankly and directly, all the major issues parents have. I loved the Hogan's Slogans, like "Love isn't solid -- It's more like clay than a rock" and the way he uses them to teach couples how to keep their intimate connection going while dealing with all the issues of parenting. The book has frank discussions of sexual issues, in-law issues, parental roles, and most of all, the differences in the way men and women view and approach parenting. I'm going to recommend it to my son and his pregnant wife, and to all my clients in the same situation. Bravo, Hogan! A great read." -Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of “How To Be a Couple and Still Be Free”

“I have to say that I truly wish that I would have read this book while I was pregnant with my son. When I first began to read this book I was really resentful at some of the points it was making (such as a guy needs to feel he is still number one even with an infant around) and I started to ask my husband if he agreed with the author, HE DID!!!!! So then I tried to read the book from my husband's perspective and talking to my husband about some of the info in the book and I was finally (after almost two years of my son's life) starting to see it from his perspective. My husband was also able to start talking about some of the things that he had felt during the pregnancy, and after because he finally felt like he was not the only man who felt this way. This book really focus' on communication as a couple after the children are born, believe me when I say that no matter how well you communicated as a couple before children that communication DOES change when you have children, it is inevitable due to feelings of total responsibility, exhaustion, excitement, and fear!!!! This book can help put you and your husband back on track as a couple and as parents. I would recommend this book to expecting parents,new parents or even parents with older children, it is never too late to start to understand what your husband is really feeling but too afraid to tell you.” -Christy, a mom.

Magazines

"I really appreciate your empathy for fathers' feelings about pregnancy and birth - the sense of responsibility, fear, helplessness, and the drive to provide. I love the description of how men feel during childbirth classes, how they object to being called coaches as well as their reluctance to share their feelings in a room full of women! This book is a great service to families. Thank you for writing it." - Melissa Chianta, Managing Editor, Mothering Magazine www.mothering.com

"Geared primarily for new moms, this book offers insight into a father's mysterious psyche. Intriguing chapters like, "We Are Afraid We Won't Be Able to Provide," and "We Can Take Care of Babies and Kids!" are gentle reminders that men are just as great at parenting as women--a notion often tossed aside in the heat of a baby's wails." - Nashville, Williamson and Rutherford Parent Magazines